Oy, *sigh*.  So many decisions on my mind, and now a big money issue dropped in my lap.  I took my car to the shop today to have an oil change and to see about why it was vibrating so horribly when I braked.  It turns out I need new roaters (spelling?), and unfortunately the total bill for this is all going to be about $500.  Luckily I can afford it right now, but a few things that I had planned on getting are going to have to be put on hold for awhile unfortunately.  I hate when things seem to be going good, especially financially, and then shit like this hits you.  Oh well, like I said, at least I can afford it now :)

I've been wrestling the past few weeks with decisions about my career.   As you may already know, there is a chance that in June of this year I may be moving down to Alabama.  Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to keep my job with my current company, but I noticed that Bed Bath and Beyond was looking for management in the area I would be moving too.  I've been toying with the idea recently of actually applying at the Bed Bath and Beyond up here in Pennsylvania where I am now, just in case I do move to Alabama.  But even if I don't, I still think it might be nice to have a career change, especially to move into a company where I am comfortable with the merchandise.  I'm just not sure if they pay the same range of salary that I'm used to where I currently am.  Right now, I just couldn't take a pay cut.  But hey, maybe they'd be able to offer more??  I guess these are all things I'll have to think about very carefully over the next few days, weeks, and months.

Other than all this, things have been going good.  I put together a new 2 person desk that Tim and I decided on, and OMG its awesome!  I absolutely love it!  Unfortunately, the armoire for the bedroom that I was going to actually purchase today might have to be put on hold until I"m sure that I can afford it.  Sorry baby...I know you liked it too :(  But that $500 car bill might not allow me to purchase it right now.  No worries, it will be in our room eventually.  :)

Well, I need to be getting to work now.  This is going to be a stressful day me thinks.

<33 Much love Tim

So...there needs to be something seriously wrong in your life when, on a Sunday morning, at 9am, you have NOTHING better to be doing (such as, oh I dunno, fucking SLEEPING) than to be waiting outside a sporting goods store for it to open.  Or...maybe to call in and, again, at 9am, be like..."I NEED SPEEDO JAMMERS!  DO YOU HAVE THEM IN THIS SIZE?!"  Like what the fuck...you woke up this morning in a pool and were like..."OH shit, these cotton pajamas just aren't going to cut it."

Ugh, anyway...to all you readers out there...DON'T BE ANNOYING ASSHOLES!  For god sakes...do not wait outside a store for a fucking hour because you need to get a pair of fucking shoe laces.  If you do, you may want to consider spending time taking large amounts of Valium with large amounts of liquer.

So whats been going on in my life lately...well lets see.  OHH OHH *raises hand*  I know!  I lost 25lbs over the past month and a half!  Yay for me!  I mean...I'm still over 200, which is sad, but I'm JUST about to break that threshold!  My clothes are loose on my, everyone is commenting on how good I look....so kudos to my self esteem.  Does anyone have any suggestions on removing man tits, however?  Hehe...I'll work on that next.

Oh, by the way, yes I should be working right now.  I'm kinda hiding in my managers office...but I'm so bored!  There are hardly any customers, no sales ad to set...and I'm here until 7pm tonight.  So WTF am I supposed to do?  I mean sure, I can find something...but I spend what seems like 3 hours working on a project and it ends up only taking like 15 minutes of my time.  I've found that time FLYS when I'm online.

Well, for the next week, the only thing on my mind is going to be how amazing my life is going to be after the 27th.  Tim will be moving in with me then, and I can't begin to explain how amazing this feels.  For the past couple weeks, the memories of the time we've spent together during Christmas have been reeling through my head.  Riding high over Hershey Park in the Sky Lift and Kissing Tower, long rides at night holding each others hands, waking up in the morning and seeing this beautiful person next to me, oh..and the showers :)  It was, what I consider up until now, the most amazing time of my life.  And I know that it can only get better from here.

So our options after this are many and, as of right now, undecided.  If Tim decides that he enjoys Pennsylvania life, then we may enjoy a long happy relationship together up here.  There are at least 5 schools in the immediate area that he can attend if he decides, there are many job opportunities available to him (yay spencers!), and he is starting out with 2 people who care about him very much (yes Tim, Mike cares).  If he is comfortable up here, then within the next year I will hopefully be promoted to a store manager and be able to pay off all my bills and start saving for a house...a home. 

However, I am extremely flexible, and honestly, enjoy moving to new places and exploring new opportunities.  Tim knows that in June, if he feels he would like to be closer to family and friends, and perhaps even go back to JSU, that we will both be moving back to Alabama, living somewhere between Anniston and Birmingham.  There are SEVERAL job opportunities that I would love to explore down there, with companies that I would be much more comfortable with than the one I am with now.  And I would love to know that Tim is near his friends and family, comfortable and happy.  As for myself, I really don't mind the drive, and will still visit my family regularly.

So our future is open, and the opportunities available to both of us are endless.  All I know is that we'll be together, and that to me is the most important thing.  Everything else will fall into place. 

Well...let me get out and start doing my job.  Leave messages!  It makes me feel loved!

TTFN

Hey everyone!  I apologize that I have not posted in over a month...but I certainly have been busy living the best weeks of my life.  Unfortunately I don't have much time for a big post, as I'm actually at work right now *hehe*...but these words very much sum up my feelings.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

Tim, thank you for being the reason in my life...the reason that I've started over, that I can smile again...that my life no longer seems dark and hopeless.  I love you Tim.

Always and forever <3

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I'm not around
You're so fuckin special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here!

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here